touchy

This month, Men's Health advises what to say to a naked woman:

"[The] belly was by far the touchiest subject for women. If there's any sign of the dreaded 'chub,' ignore it. If it's flat . . . 'Lay your head against it and tell me it's your favorite place in the world' (Carrie, 25). 'Wow, those core workouts have really paid off!' (Dawn, 25)".

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Dear Men's Health,

My husband subscribes to your magazine, and this month's issue has been hanging around the bathroom for the past few days. I read the article "What to Say to a Naked Woman," and I'm troubled. I thought you should know.

I think it's funny that you refer to the belly as the "touchiest subject," and then advise men against . . . touching.

Bear with me as I parse your advice: Only a flat belly should be complimented. A chubby belly is a source of shame, so it should be ignored. Ignoring part of a woman's body ensures that she won't feel uncomfortable about it. A flat belly deserves loving remarks like "It's my favorite place in the world"; a chubby belly is no one's favorite place.

I can't speak for all women (obviously). I'm self-conscious about my belly. If a man were to ignore it, I would assume that he was turned off by it. This would serve to further separate me from my body [sad trombone].

If a man were to touch my belly, kiss it, love it, tell me it's his favorite nestling spot, I would be more inclined to remember that it's a part of me. And because it's a part of me, it isn't good or bad. It just is. And that, that's acceptance.

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I have chub, Men's Health. I like it because it's me. I don't like it because it makes me heavier than my body wants to be. I'm conflicted, Men's Health, and you're not helping.

                                                 photo by Lisa Berry

I have chub. And I'd prefer that no one dread it -- not my husband, not others, and especially not me.

Sincerely,
Fancy