I've had it with epiphanies! As revelatory as these life-changing aha! moments can feel, they're often hard to sustain. A burning bush is miraculous, but I wouldn't wait around for one or have your growth depend on it. I encourage you instead to make small changes with great love -- then they'll accumulate and last. Stitch by golden stitch, you'll be sewn together, more whole.
-- from Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life by Judith Orloff, M.D.
Waiting for a friend in the dressing room at White House/Black Market. Thinner women abound. Hands in my pockets, I lean back, trying too hard to look effortlessly casual. Directly across from me, awesomely, is a massive, wall-length mirror. I meet the gaze of mirror-me and groan. "I look huge," I think. And then, because I've been doing all sorts of reading and thinking about being kinder to myself, I reject the body snarking and reprimand myself for the thought, "I hate when I'm so negative toward my body. God, what is wrong with me." No question mark there, just a period, for it is a statement, not a query. If it's not a question, it can't be solved or put to rest. Sometimes negative self-talk in its familiarity is less scary than change.
But it didn't end there. I studied myself in the mirror, top to bottom and back again. I decided not to wallow in the cycle of berating and critiquing. It's become too exhausting, honestly. I said simply, "It's okay. Just breathe." I purposefully sent love zings to myself, just as I'd done when, looking toward the wedding photographer's lens, I imagined Stefan there.
It wasn't an aha! moment. I didn't feel momentous at all, in fact; I noticed the change in my thought pattern only later when reflecting on the day. It was a small change enacted with great love. A brief but crucial step toward abiding kindness.